Don't mess with her

These aren't Maxine quotes...but certainly could  be !!) I received this in an email and just had to share it...enjoy the laughs.     Happy Valentines Day to all those husbands  or boyfriend that remembered HER.   Woe  to the guy  that didn't remember..or tried to outwit his wife when the occasion arose..   Women  are  excellent at multitasking and have a quick response switch..so be careful guys! (Now please take all this with a grain of salt and have a laugh or two.   WOMEN'S REVENGE  'Cash, check or charge?' I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.  As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.  'So, do you always carry your TV remote?' I asked.  'No,' she replied, 'but my husband refused to come shopping with me,  and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.'

CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS    A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles.  The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.  He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.  She directs him down the correct aisle.  A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.  She says, confused, 'Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?  He answers, 'You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store  to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco  and some rolling papers; cause "it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper.  So, I figure if I have to roll my own ......... so does she.

WIFE VS. HUSBAND    A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.  An earlier discussion had led to an argument and  neither of them wanted to concede their position.  As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?'  'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws'

WORDS  A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day.  30,000 to a man's 15,000.  The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...  The husband then turned to his wife and asked, 'What?'

CREATION  A man said to his wife one day, 'I don't know how you can be  so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.  'The wife responded, 'Allow me to explain.  God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;  God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!

WHO DOES WHAT  A man and his wife were having an argument about who  should brew the coffee each morning.  The wife said, 'You should do it because you get up first,  and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.  The husband said, 'You are in charge of cooking around here and  you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.'  Wife replies, 'No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.'  Husband replies, 'I can't believe that, show me.'  So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says   'HEBREWS'

The Silent Treatment  A man and his wife were having some problems at home  and were giving each other the silent treatment.  Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him  at 5:0 0 AM for an early morning business flight.  Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,  'Please wake me at 5:00 AM.   He left it where he knew she would find it.  The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight   Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him,  when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.  The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.'  Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece

SEND THIS TO SMART WOM

 

 

              LAUGH A LOT, AND WHEN YOU ARE OLDER ALL

              YOUR WRINKLES WILL BE IN THE RIGHT PLACES...