RECENTLY HEARD THESE QUOTES, ENJOYED THEM, WANTED TO SHARE.
*
IF MY BODY IS EVER FOUND ON A JOGGING TRAIL JUST KNOW THAT I WAS MURDERED SOMEWHERE ELSE AND DUMPED THERE.
* RESPECT YOUR ELDERS. THEY GRADUATED FROM SCHOOL WITHOUT
THE INTERNET.
* I'VE DECIDED I'M NOT OLD, I'M 25 -- PLUS SHIPPING AND HANDLING.
* WHY DO I HAVE TO PRESS "1" FOR ENGLISH? DID AMERICA MOVE?
*
WE HAVE ENOUGH GUN CONTROL. WHAT WE NEED IS IDIOT CONTROL
* BEHIND EVERY ANGRY WOMAN STANDS A MAN WHO HAS ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHAT HE DID
WRONG.
* LET'S STOP SENDING MONEY TO OTHER COUNTRIES AND LET THEM HATE US FOR FREE.
*
VEGETARIAN: ANCIENT TRIBAL NAME FOR THE VILLAGE IDIOT WHO CAN’T HUNT, FISH, OR LIGHT FIRES!
* I LOOK AT PEOPLE AND SOMETIMES THINK
"REALLY”? -- THAT'S THE SPERM THAT WON?"
* IN MY DEFENSE I WAS LEFT UNSUPERVISED.
*
IF GUNS KILL PEOPLE, THEN PENCILS MISSPELL WORDS, CARS MAKE PEOPLE DRIVE DRUNK, AND SPOONS MAKE PEOPLE FAT.
* MY DECISION-MAKING SKILLS CLOSELY
RESEMBLE THOSE OF A SQUIRREL WHEN CROSSING THE ROAD.
* SOME THINGS ARE JUST BETTER LEFT UNSAID -- AND I USUALLY REALIZE IT RIGHT AFTER I SAY
THEM.
* WE OWE ILLEGALS NOTHING -- WE OWE OUR VETERANS EVERYTHING.