THOUGHTS TO LIVE BY?

RECENTLY HEARD THESE QUOTES, ENJOYED THEM, WANTED TO SHARE.

 

 

*    IF MY BODY IS EVER FOUND ON A JOGGING TRAIL JUST KNOW THAT I WAS MURDERED SOMEWHERE ELSE AND DUMPED THERE.


*    RESPECT YOUR ELDERS.  THEY GRADUATED FROM SCHOOL WITHOUT THE INTERNET.

*    I'VE DECIDED I'M NOT OLD,  I'M 25 -- PLUS SHIPPING AND HANDLING.  
   
*    WHY DO I HAVE TO PRESS "1" FOR ENGLISH?  DID AMERICA MOVE?

*    WE HAVE ENOUGH GUN CONTROL.  WHAT WE NEED IS IDIOT CONTROL

*    BEHIND EVERY ANGRY WOMAN STANDS A MAN WHO HAS ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHAT HE DID WRONG.

*    LET'S STOP SENDING MONEY TO OTHER COUNTRIES AND LET THEM HATE US FOR FREE.

*    VEGETARIAN:  ANCIENT TRIBAL NAME FOR THE VILLAGE IDIOT WHO CAN’T HUNT, FISH, OR LIGHT FIRES!

*    I LOOK AT PEOPLE AND SOMETIMES THINK "REALLY”?  -- THAT'S THE SPERM THAT WON?"

*    IN MY DEFENSE I WAS LEFT UNSUPERVISED.

*    IF GUNS KILL PEOPLE, THEN PENCILS MISSPELL WORDS, CARS MAKE PEOPLE DRIVE DRUNK, AND SPOONS MAKE PEOPLE FAT.

*    MY DECISION-MAKING SKILLS CLOSELY RESEMBLE THOSE OF A SQUIRREL WHEN CROSSING THE ROAD.

*    SOME THINGS ARE JUST BETTER LEFT UNSAID -- AND I USUALLY REALIZE IT RIGHT AFTER I SAY THEM.

*    WE OWE ILLEGALS NOTHING -- WE OWE OUR VETERANS EVERYTHING.

 

 

 

 

 

Latest comments

Yesterday | 21:19

You'll never be a little old lady....keep up the sassy!!!!

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29.03 | 17:29

Another good one.

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28.03 | 11:56

Hi, Aunt Geri. Thanks for the blog. It was a funny one!

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27.03 | 19:35

Good ones. I love Maxine.

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